How is it that I'm gearing up as the year is winding down. All the anticipation of the holidays has me paralyzed this year. While I appreciate the mellowness of Hannukah: candles, potato pancakes, one simple prayer; trying to explain to a 2 year old that the every-night-a-present thing is over is a bit trickier task. Thankfully we are deflecting that with the promise of Christmas. Which probably means nothing to a person who has no sense of time (see bedtime rituals, and pushover parents; jk). I have to admit that I'm a little afraid of what 2010 will bring. When Bo was born, we were told that he would not be here by now. And I just could not bring myself to plan past 2009 in any concrete way (outside of my obsessive financial planning- which also hit an existential crisis: how many dependents go into our assumptions? what about a college fund? we started one, but it was half-hearted and a little thin to start). Our whole over-doing it with toys and books had a certain urgency, with the dark underlying thoughts of impending silence. Where my girlfriends were buying clothes a year in advance at clearance sales, I did not have the heart to shop for things that might go unused. Now we are paying for our prudence, wading ruefully through trains and puzzles clogging the living room, finding all his pants have become high-waters, reassessing the thinly funded pre-school saving. Now we are scheduling pre-school tours (my god, they are expensive!) and re-prioritizing home rehab/maintenance projects. I am dreading the trip to Ann Arbor; they just royally mess with the kid's sleep habits. But excited for Bo to spend the day with his GungGung and PoPo. I am being scolded for not dressing the boy in clothes that fit, but find delight in the good fortune of everyday parenting that I was warned would not be ours to have.
As usual, our Xmas cards will be late. I'll just have to post and send e-cards this year. Or something. I admit, if it weren't for our desire to show Umich how well Bo was doing, the last 2 years' cards may never have been sent at all. The same feeling is probably driving the production of this year's, too.
These pix are from our visit with the F-squared family in Hawaii. They are so awesome. We are so glad we got to spend as much time with them as we did!
