Angst

I read my girlfriend's blog about Max (see the link on the side bar for Max) and it made my whole soul ache. My avatar nodded and said, "Amen, amen, I say to you, amen, girl. I hear you." It makes the teeth of my heart chatter when I think about the everydayness of Bo's medical needs. People outside of this reality, including my own parents and sisters, feel intimidated and anxious about it. They probably feel sorry for us too.

But the funny thing is that I don't feel any of those things for myself or other families like ours. I spend my energy more on compassion than pity. More angry with bad specialists and skin-flint insurance companies than helpless wanderings.

But I remember a few times that I was so in denial that I forgot to hook up the baby after a day of playing. And every time I see a pregnant lady, I feel... so sad.