The one thing about Bo's behavior that hasn't changed during this trying time is his satisfaction playing by himself in the mornings. And every morning I watch him playing, hoping that we have reached a turning point, only to be disappointed by his distress in the evenings.
Last night I was so distraught, I found myself wondering about palliative care. Again, revisiting those UM doctors in my head. I just felt so crazed and desperate. What if his kidneys were failing and we just didn't know it? Could we do a live organ transplant? Would DeVos do it? What the hell am I thinking? I am going mad. He is teething, probably. Or has the flu. ...But then, the Tordol didn't work last week...
Then, tonight, I nursed him after getting home, and no gagging. Not even spit up. He wanted more, so I warmed up a bottle, and he devoured that. Still no vomiting. And another bottle. And even a little more nursing. Seriously, praise the Lord. And Buddha. Kwan Yin the Merciful. All my ancestors. The kind and gentle spirits of the trees Bo loves so much. This is the most he's eaten all week combined. Please let this be the turning point.
1 comment:
Well, turning point or no it's always a great thing to be eating. It won't be over till long after the fat baby sings.
The way I see it he's a wonderfully interactive, conscious, growing, baby who's living at home with parents that are like stone Golems of faith and loving guidance (not to mention a sense of humor, which shouldn't be underestimated). If more of those factors began to erode then I'd be worried on a more morbid scale but it seems like sheer frustration just takes over when something hurts that you can't reach or explain. Plus I'll bet once he's yapping in english, it'll get a lot easier to weed things out quickly.
I haven't indulged much lately but I think I'm going to get some cookies and milk today and dunk them over a little prayer for my beloved family. If any one else of you'se read this, you should join me and think about our simple gifts of hunger and digestion and send it out to Bo. (i.e. milk for appetite and cookies for tough new teeth. it can't hurt, right?)
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